I will never forget the day I got the call from Lauren, our case worker within the Law firm. Just by chance, we had been emailing back and forth regarding something about our home study so when I saw the South Carolina area code on my cell phone, I didn’t for a second think I was going to be getting any news. Sure enough a few minutes into the call, Lauren told me that there was an adoptive opportunity. That moment my life changed forever.
As I sit and write this even now, I have tears of joy. To be honest, this wasn’t the moment I thought I would have had years ago. I thought like any “Mother” that I too would have my excited moment, taking a pregnancy test at home and eagerly sharing the news with my husband and then family and friends. As seasons passed with no pregnancy, I would think of ways to surprise him when I did get the news. For Christmas it would be a stocking stuffer (the test that is) and so on. Well as years passed, my path to a child changed, and my moment turned to this phone call.
As you can imagine, I couldn’t breathe. I fell to my knees. I screamed and I cried for a few minutes then realized that I had to act fast. The birth mother that had chosen us was heading into the hospital and needed to know how we felt. I called my husband at work and tried to get out the words “baby!” through my tears and once he finally knew what I was trying to say, he cried himself and immediately came home.
Life was a whirlwind for the next 72 hours. We would have the opportunity to read about the birth mother and her medical history. We would have a phone conference with Jim and other staff members regarding our decision. Then we would get a phone call approximately 5 hours from the original phone call that would tell us that our son had been born. Not even 24 hours later we would be getting on a plane to fly to South Carolina from Pennsylvania and then meet our son and the birth mother and family that same day. The next day we would say goodbye and start our journey as parents. If it sounds overwhelming when you read it, trust me, it was. Every moment we got closer to him was a life moment for me. The moment that changed my life besides our original call, was meeting him and of course the birth mother and family.
When my husband and I started this adoption journey, we had always dreamed about this entire situation. How long would we have? Would it be a boy or a girl? So many things we envisioned but one thing we didn’t think through was what came after that. It of course is the birth mother’s decision as far as the openness to meet or not meet us. We consider ourselves very lucky in the sense that we were able to spend about 3 hours talking with her. I could go on and on about that moment when we met her. How we all felt like we had known each other for years. How there were so many signs that we were to be in each other’s lives. I will never be able to share that moment with anyone but my husband and our son.
There aren’t words to express how I feel towards our son’s birth mother and any other brave women who have made the same choice she has. What do you say to someone who is so selfless, brave, and chooses the gift of life through their pain and sacrifice? She was the answer our prayers and we will always love her for that. I just would want her to know on birth mother’s day that she isn’t forgotten. I know after speaking with her, I felt that she had gone through some hard times in life that made her down on herself. This is not one of those moments. She is a hero and should be treated as such.
It took us 11 days from flying down to then start our journey home. Bringing him home for the first time was surreal but here I am, nearly 2 months from the call, and I still can’t believe this is my life. That I am a mother. That I was so blessed to raise this child. I will forever be grateful for this experience and pray for all the birth mother’s and mothers in waiting. I no longer use the word “luck” because my son is so much more than that. He was meant to be.
Thank you, Becca, for sharing your story.
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